Before I Put Your Meat In My Mouth, I’d Like To Know Where It’s Been


The republican-led House of Representatives voted this past summer to end the requirement that meat labels must state where the meat is from. As Bill Maher puts it, the new bill should be called the “Freedom From Information Act”.

We have a responsibility, to ourselves and society, to be as well informed as we possibly can in order to prevent companies from taking advantage of us. Within this vast corporate, money-driven world of America, the self-interests of companies outweigh the health and safety of its citizens, all in the name of profit. We allow them to put our very lives and health at risk with our ignorance, when we decide we’d rather not know the true facts because the taste of that hamburger, for example, in that moment, is more important. We are better than that. A single hamburger today, can contain meat from over a hundred cows. What else should we allow to be hidden from us?

At the very least, defend your right to know. Demand your freedom to access information about what you put in your mouth, even if the information isn’t easy to swallow. We cannot continue to be so easily content turning a blind eye, the consequences are too great. This new bill infringes on safety and the consumers’ most basic rights. As Bill Maher so eloquently put it, “regulations are supposed to protect people from corporations, not corporations from people.

It is easy to feel powerless by how much you can do and how much change will occur with our currant political landscape. However, you make yourself more powerful by staying informed and showing an example for others. People take notice when others start to. It’s a sales pitch the government and corporations are creating for the sake of profit. Don’t let them sell you bulls**t when it comes to purchasing your food. Stay aware and connected to what’s really going on and make informed decisions. Maintain your freedom to know.





Vegan Cheating Confessional


Confession time: I cheated on my vegan diet the other day and had a little cheese in my salad. The aged cheese was a thoughtful gift from the travels of a friend and not something we bought, it should be noted haha. I felt as though I was a crazed animal with a newly found, hypersensitivity to my taste buds and palette. Oh the massive amount of guilt that consumed me. In the past, if a little cheese was on something I was eating I barely noticed, didn’t give much thought to before. But now, it’s a completely different story. It’s an once-in-a-lifetime treat in my mind. The thrill and happiness that I experienced from eating that cheese… I was disgusted with myself, how it could have this affect over me, leaving me feeling weak and powerless.


         I was reminded of a story my mom had told me of one of her former students. The child in her class had parents that enforced very strict diets for their kids since they were born, forbidding any and all sugar. But once their children were old enough to enter school and have the freedom from their parents’ presence, they stuffed themselves sick with candy and sugary treats, going on a wild mission for it. The restrictions that were placed upon them made them hunger for it and crave the unhealthy food more than the average child, who was used to having treats fairly often. I worry about having a similar incident and the parallels that I feel to those kids and one day cracking, giving this up. Perhaps going cold turkey was not the best approach for me, too much all at once. Although “cold turkey” is not the best term of phrase when speaking about veganism, I have to admit.

My boyfriend nicely shook off my worries and advised that it’s best not to refer to my cheese transgression as cheating, perhaps to remove the “forbidden-ness” aspect out of the picture. Rather than dwelling on your cheating, you should accept your few weak moments and actions, forgive yourself, and move on. Allowing you to continue on your path and be successful and guilt free, without the all-hope-is-lost attitude that tends to spin you back to your old habits. It all sounds very similar to the diet tips for people trying to lose weight. No one guaranteed it would be easy. I must remind myself what I’m going through is normal and I am not alone in my feelings during this journey, as others before me have wrestled problems during their diet change. I also have the support and backing from my boyfriend, family, and other loved ones to help me along.

From the lessons I’ve gained from the matter, if you slip up, do not think that everything is ruined forever. You must have an optimistic and determined mentality. Just continue on no matter how many times you have to hit the “reset” button on your diet change and keep going in the direction of your goal. In fact, a lot of people go through a transition period on their path to becoming fully vegan, and it’s ok, as long as you remember the exact reason that led you to becoming vegan in the first place. That will help get you through the weak moments.


         Because all of this is psychological, we must train ourselves, body AND mind, in order to undertake one of the hardest challenges we face on a regular basis with every choice we make; which is to delay our immediate joy/gratification, in exchange for a much greater benefit in the future. I’m forgiving my cheese offense and carrying on.

The Pursuit of Taste


Want versus need. What really, truly drives our decisions? Do we listen to what our bodies actually require rather than answer our strong, current desires each time we sit down for a meal? Is it a balancing act of sorts? As I reach the third week mark of my vegan diet, my cravings have been on the forefront of my mind, consuming any other thoughts of nutrition and threatening to drown out all the reasons why I chose to follow a vegan diet in the first place.

My boyfriend noticed my struggling and poignantly reminded me of the true, little importance that taste-based food choices have in the long-term and towards your happiness. He simply asked me if I could remember what we had to eat for dinner three nights ago and my mind drew a complete blank and I couldn’t recall. Which was astonishing because I’ve never craved, discussed, blogged, and thought about food as much as I am now. In the moment, you think how you absolutely must indulge and order those fries, buy that candy in the grocery store, and have that frozen pizza in your fridge instead of preparing a salad. Taste is your main focus. Yet, as my boyfriend has found, nine times out of ten, if you ask anyone, they cannot tell you what they had to eat for dinner three nights ago. Some time after I remembered, when I really thought it out, but his point really resonated with me; how taste is completely insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

That discovery gave me pause and I hope will create a shift in my thinking. Having worked as a waitress for a number of years, I am far too used to the atmosphere of a restaurant where taste is absolutely everything, customers come to indulge and gluttony doesn’t exist. I hope that’s what’s happened to me. Trapped too long in the restaurant world, warping my way of thinking temporarily. How am I so wrapped up in the present, pursuing mere taste and my wants time and time again? Allowing this inner child/brat in my head, without any regard for health, win out. In those times of temptation when I give in, I tell myself it’s just a little treat and all in moderation, as long as I’m not having this every day… maybe there’s still some truth to that, but I’m so focused on taste.

Hopefully there’s an ideal middle ground where you can have both, taste and health. I’m happily discovering it really is possible and proven to be so with the nutritious and delicious vegan cooking my boyfriend creates every day and undoubtedly surprises my taste buds with as well. There have been some things, such as juicing, that I have had trouble mustering though, even with hearing all the health benefits. Which leaves me contemplating the ultimate dilemma; how do I rise above and overcome my obsession with taste? Perhaps I have a very unhealthy relationship to food. I wonder if everyone faces this same battle, with some of us having stronger self-discipline than others, silencing their urges.

I suppose it boils down to a mental game to be won then. A test of determination. And in that case I must fight, every day, until the battle is so familiar to me that I hardly notice it, until it’s not a struggle any longer. I must resist my cravings that have built up, cutting off their power to take hold and control me. I cannot allow my heightened attention to food influence my desires and goal to maintain a healthy vegan diet. I do not wish to be at the mercy of my cravings. My problem has been that I’m too focused on what I cannot eat, instead of concentrating on all the new food possibilities that’s opened up to me since becoming vegan. I must let it go, recognize what is truly driving these unwanted urges and remember that these cravings feel and seem more important than they actually are. What’s more important to me is leading a healthy, happy life and that can easily start with diet.


Taste is fleeting, too easy to give into, allows you effortlessly to think solely on pleasure, living in the present and not the future. Health is forever. Or in a case where you’re not thinking about health and nutrition, health isn’t forever at all. Health will be your doom and take your life sooner. Life and health are forever entwined. When you are in a hospital bed with death on the horizon, you won’t be applauding yourself for indulging all your life and you still won’t remember what you had three nights ago for dinner. Health and every food choice you make right now, add up, it is all your future stands on; it’s the entirety of your life. Taste, therefore, no matter how hard it is, must be secondary to health. Like the Rolling Stones’ song lyrics state,


“You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.”

Is That a Phone in Your Pocket or are You Just Happy to See Me…


The book I just finished reading only moments ago, Disconnect, by Devra Davis Ph.D., M.P.H., Co-laureat Nobel Peace Prize 2007, is perhaps one of the most startlingly real books I have read in some time as it deals with the glue that holds our society and one may go as far as saying our civilization together.

I’m speaking of the cell phone.

I cant delve too much into the book without sounding foolish and making numerous misquotes, after all, who am I, surely not a scientist and barely a person worth listening to except for the fact that I read this book and am fairly able to write with some proficiency.

In essence, the cell phone comes from the same basic principle as the early aircraft radar systems which gave way to microwave ovens, officers would cook hot dogs on the tips of their swords in front of the radar, whilst sailors on watch would warm themselves in front of the radar on cold nights, others still would stand in front of the radar to reduce sperm counts before hitting ports of call as i was rumored to drop your sperm counts thereby being a form of birth control.

Not much has changed except for the fact that the power of these devices has increased while the size has decreased, which has in turn allowed cell phones to be increasingly powerful (analog, 2G, 3G, now 4G) and instance of brain tumors and tumors in the gland behind the jaw bone among other instances of dis-ease including a burgeoning instance of breast cancer (phones help for safe keeping in the bra???) are reaching unprecedented numbers.

If you do you best to live a healthy life, if you care about your children, please take some time to at least take a look at this book, after all, Steve Jobs (founder – Apple), would not let his children use computers or cell phones.

What you know is usually what you are told and what you are told, as we now know when it comes to most things, for example, asbestos, or weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, or GMO’s to save the world from starvation, may have the best intentions at heart or may be complete lies, either way, it takes a long time for the truth to surface and when it finally does, then the cover ups are found and already a swath of destruction has been visited upon many lives.

The truth will always come out, but how about the carnage before the truth comes out when the industry sows lies to reap profit?  Could cell phones be the next Tobacco… Or worse….

go to, this is Dr. Davis’ site for more info and please do read the book.  It is a rare thing to find so much information so very compelling and palatable!

Check it out on your smart phone… Ha!


dr devra davis

Finding Willpower as Vegan


            We want what we can’t have. The saying that is usually reserved to describe the trials of love or yearning for objects and aspirations out of reach, but in this case, I’m referring to food of course. A familiar inner voice appears in your head convincing you to give into temptation as you fixate a longing gaze and a watering mouth on a certain food item you know you should refrain from, that you try desperately to stifle and silence. It seems like a cruel joke how the appeal and desire emerges ever more strongly, accompanied with a heightened sense of attention and awareness, when restraining one-self. Lately, fueled by frustration from struggling with non-vegan food cravings, the inner workings of self-control and the implications of having a lack of personal discipline have been heavy on my mind, striking my curiosity. It’s the ultimate test of willpower at play that all of us grapple with in various aspects of our lives on a daily basis.

            What I learned is willpower has, in fact, recently been discovered to be more than a mere metaphor. Scientists describe willpower as being a form of energy in the brain, similar to a muscle. Willpower can be strengthened with practice and use, however, it also progressively gets fatigued and decreases with use throughout the day. Whether it’s resisting food, decision-making, or completing a dreaded task, exercising self-control in different areas of your life ends up drawing from and draining the same source of mental energy. The key is in conserving your willpower for matters of importance, since you only have a finite amount of it each day. Simply putting food you’re resisting near to you, in your sight, aides in depleting your willpower. Whereas putting it across the room from you or not having it in your presence at all, makes restraint far easier because you are not actively resisting the temptation. A study even concluded that workers in an office ate a significant more amount of candy when it was placed on a desk inside a clear, glass bowl versus a non-transparent bowl. Proving the out-of-sight-out-of-mind technique to be an effective strategy.

            These findings came as no surprise to me, whose battle to follow a vegan diet while still in New Hampshire, came to be an impossible feat for me. Surrounded by non-vegan food not only at home and gatherings with friends, but also at the restaurant where I worked, I was constantly being challenged. Even after watching those horrid videos of farm animals being cruelly abused and slaughtered, I was hopelessly only able to uphold a vegan diet for a meager day or so, until I gave in and let all of my old habits and diet come rearing back in. Utterly discouraged, I concluded my goal to go vegan could not realistically be reached until my impending move to Hawaii. Where I’d be removed from my routines, the lure of my refrigerator, my mother’s cooking, the quantities of rich food available at the restaurant I worked for, and all the other surrounding influences and temptations that seemingly held me hostage. I’d be able to start from square one moving to Hawaii with the most extreme and ideal out-of-sight-out-of-mind set up available to me.

            I then had about a four month long postponement period before Hawaii and a vegan lifestyle that awaited me. I must admit, for a large portion of those four months, I was gravitating towards meat and dairy with a lust and desire like it was my last day to live. The guilt and shame associated with consuming meat and dairy was palpable, but in my head, what consistently prevailed was an overwhelming feeling of limited time. The dominating argument that I won’t be able to have this food/drink item once I follow veganism, so I need to enjoy it while I still can. It’s a mindset difficult to describe, which strikes a certain feeling of scarcity, finality, and fear producing a powerful desire that makes you want to cling to your old diet even more tightly. For the duration of the postponement of my transition to veganism, before my move, I focused on the traditional aspects and familiarities of meat and dairy, which I had consumed all my life. The notion that it is “normal” to eat these things, instead of reminding myself of the animal it originated from and pushing the new information and the unpleasant things I had watched to the back of my mind. Before my move, I only managed to cut down on my meat consumption slightly, while my dairy intake, I believe, increased to make up for my self-imposed meat limitations. I was feeling weak and defeated for my embarrassing, pathetic display of self-control and seemingly nonexistent willpower.

            Exhausting your willpower is a process researchers call “ego depletion”, in which everything, positive and negative, feels more intensely to you because your brain has lost some ability to regulate emotions. Thus, you respond more strongly to everything while cravings, frustrations, and desires build. In the short term, willpower is a limited resource where your mounting restraint and discipline overtax valuable space in your brain, making it that much more difficult to resist other temptation later on in your day. Fortunately, not all hope is lost for the ones, like myself, to put the “power” back into our “willpower”. Improvements can be made by frequent and consistent exercises in self-control. Observant religious people are a good example of this, often scoring higher in self-discipline than others, perhaps with personal religious practices involving willpower. One study found that students who were asked to pay attention to their posture for a week, performed better on other willpower tasks (not pertaining to posture) than students who had not been actively exercising control all week.

            Therefore, all these areas in your life that require some form of mental effort, will help build up and strengthen that mental muscle of self-control within you. The more you practice willpower and put it to the test, the more successful you will be in resisting temptation in the future.

            Now if you’ll excuse me, I will be beginning my day with the ultimate willpower exercise of passing the pastry counter, full of non-vegan delicacies at my regular coffee shop, with a new motivation that will hopefully extinguish my lingering urges to jump across the counter and devour each and every one of those buttery pastries. Best of luck in your willpower pursuits!


Fugazi – “Waiting Room” or “My Labor Day Weekend… SO FAR!!”

Sitting here in the kamuela hospital emergency room…

Wondering if my girl lauren made it back ok to hawi to drop off my bosses car as he is very upset to have been put out so to speak…
Listening to bits and pieces of whoopi goldberg on the view talking about epidurals and kanya west not making any moronic statements… Or was it the blonde haired girl with the Kanye stuff…?The view tv show in a hospital

Helping an old man into a wheel chair as a nurse couldnt be found… he fell out of a tree…
Watching a young lady take care of her mom who was in some sort of insulin shock or lack of insulin as she vomited and wet herself… That made me feel pretty sad/fortunate/confused at the same time….
And me, with an infection slowly creeping up my leg to the point that I am now nervous…. Yes, I had it looked at at the first sign of infection, got a shot in the ass, a tetanus booster, pills, and still it creeps on…. Oh sweet day in the morning=]. What a trip life is….

That we will die one day is all the more reason to live now…

If you’re not laughin, you’re cryin. – LQ, girl I had torrid and confusingly criminal relationship with (wannabe Bonnie and Clyde style)


No empy spaces in me that can be filled by someon out of me

I just had a hot daydream that got me an erection, so I guess im on the road to recovery or perdition as it were. I just looked up perdition, NOT what I was thinking, so we ixnay that part….

Im thinking about my legs, now that I am lying here with a leg elevated, two bottle os pills that i eagerly await taking as thgh i am. Personally sending in the troops that will slowly win the war!

Antibiotics apparently make my skin itch in odd places

Its shameful for me to think about how little attention i pay to my body parts unless i have anaged to pay so little attention i injure them….. That, to me, couldn’t be ninja could it…?

I got to see what my skin looks like on the ultra sound in the emergency room…. Dr. C. Fredrick Von Trampe.  And yes he did seem like he was the man and the name was very well applied to this one…
there were no pockets of pus or other happy substances that he felt were worth lancing into to drain…. It had too many small ones… I didn’t know wether to be comforted or weirded out and i had thought of how cool it would be if it were in color and of course my mind tried to come up with what that may have looked like and good god im glad it was state of the art grainy black and white with #fiftyShades ofGrey in between…

Road to Veganism – New Hampshire to Hawaii and All in Between…


People are quick to accuse vegans and vegetarians of having a superior attitude. There is a certain stereotype that exists, which paints vegans and vegetarians as being arrogantly passionate, judgmental, and self-righteous. It is an unfair representation and must be emphasized as such, for it breeds misinformation and resistance, thereby making meat and dairy consumers less apt to simply consider a different diet and lifestyle option. The truth of the matter is that meat and dairy consumers are equally, if not more, judgmental and adamant that their view is the correct one. This is what I came to discover whenever mentioning to my family and friends my thoughts to transition into becoming a vegan.

I was met with varying reactions, almost all of them negative in nature. Although primarily based out of concern and worry for my health, there was little support to be received. Ranging from lectures, debate, and doubts that I could go through with it. Complete with shaking heads, eye rolls, and sighs thrown in or at the very least, an eyebrow raise with a polite, pessimistic sentiment. A far cry from the open mind, acceptance, and respect the very same people claimed vegans and vegetarians lacked. The pendulum most certainly swings both ways.

I believe the image of the health-conscience, passionate vegan and vegetarian intimidates people in a particular way, which in turn may deter them from choosing that kind of lifestyle. From my own experience, the common thought that would cross my mind is that a vegan/vegetarian is surely going to tell me everything that I’m doing wrong and shame me and judge me for what I eat.   And within that mind- frame, produced avoidance. People don’t want to be preached at or chided. They worry about the guilt that might ensue after a conversation. They dread appearing foolish, clueless, and ignorant. They simply don’t want to know the dirty details, rather being blissfully unaware of, quite literally, “how the sausage gets made”. Most people simply fear the unfamiliar and unknown.

It is important to recognize that people regard food in vastly different ways. It can be a taste-oriented comfort, a delicious and creative art, substances that your spouse or parent prepares and selects that’s placed in front of you, nutrients to feed your body-is-a-temple mantra, to mere fuel for the body and everything in between. Food can be savored slowly or devoured quickly, with differing degrees of apathy and distraction or deep purpose and intention. Diet is closely interwoven with lifestyle and becomes a sensitive topic for some, connecting on a deep, personal level, who they are and possibly sparking body or self-image issues. Having an open mind, tolerance of others’ opinions, and kind-hearted discussion and knowledge to offer is key to breaking this paradigm of casting vegans and vegetarians in this negative light. Not to say that the stereotype is vegans and vegetarians fault to fix, but it’s about time that reputation was proven false with respectful, calm debate on both sides of the aisle.

Thus, in order to stimulate knowledge and motivation in others, in the process of building to expand veganism and vegetarianism, I believe what would help in an impactful way, is for vegans and vegetarians to utilize a tactful approach when discussing diet and health to others. Personally, I was so relieved and thankful for my boyfriend’s fact-based and understanding method surrounding the subject with zero pressure and shaming involved. I’m so appreciative now, as well, for his advice and sympathy as I’m going through strong meat and dairy cravings presently.        I know I would have been more reluctant to tackle this challenge and eventually make the decision to become vegan, if he hadn’t created such a kind and straightforward atmosphere. I understand the frustration vegans and vegetarians must feel about the sluggish pace of worldwide awareness and change, as well as the prejudice, exclusion, and judgment that they must face at times. The zeal you possess for your healthy vegan/vegetarian lifestyle is something you should be proud of and never apologize for. My advice, as a very recent converter to veganism, is to help educate others with compassion and tact if you wish to inspire and meaningfully change minds.