There seems to be an ever burgeoning rise in those searching for love, professing their need for it, and generally being open to any aspect of it. When we look around the planet, we see a vast multitude of confusion surrounding it and in the next few articles, we will seek to shed some light on it… Why am I saying we, Christ, its like I’m fragmenting in my mind or something, its only me here and now I’m speaking in some odd third person multiple narrative… Sorry, I swear the info is good even if I am on my way out… Oh boy… enjoy!
What does love mean for you…
What does it mean for me may be a better way to start this missive, a short diatribe which will, in my highest of hopes, perhaps shed some light on why things aren’t going well for you, or, better, how they can go better, assuming of course my hubris isn’t just shining brightly and Im prattling on about things I know nothing about.
Two sayings will help you on your road to love that apply in some form or another to all of us and they are:
- “You can’t ride two horses at the same time.”
This speaks to the obvious. If you are truly seeking love, you do not want to spread your focus to thin, and when it comes to love, more than one is to thin. That’s just how it is. I understand that there are those amongst us who feel polyamory (being in loving relationships to include physical with more than one partner) is the way to go. If you feel that way, do give it a try and be prepared for what follows as every last person whom I have known to engage in this has come away having learned a hard lesson.
There are those who feel that it is best to “spread one’s bets”. While this may work for the roulette wheel in Vegas, once you begin to view love as a gamble or something to be won, you have already strayed far enough from the path that your results will reflect your disillusionment. Love is not a game to be one, to be conquered to be on the “winning side” of, it is none of those things and to think of it as such may be the root cause of why things aren’t going as they could be going.
If the focus for you is love, then you MUST keep that focus and use your feelings as a guide to knowing whether or not you are on the right path with the person you have chosen to walk down the path with. If you spread your bets so to speak, you will be unable to properly focus your attention and will miss out on all the important details that make love work, the little things. Its all in the little things, it always has been and always will be. As it is with your daily life, so shall it be with your love.
All “BIG PROBLEMS” are nothing more than a mountain of small problems. All “GREAT SUCCESSES” are nothing but a pile of smaller ones. Love is the greatest success you will have as a human being. I say this as a person who has seen, read, traveled and basically taken in enough of the world to know that love seems to be what everyone is either searching for, or shying away from, which is just another form of searching.
Even Hitler was married. The greatest force the Yogi’s sitting on the mountain tops must overcome is the love of another human, there can be no stronger attachment than the complete admiration and adoration of another, and no better form than that of a loved one.
Look at “fame”, “power”, “prestige”, all of these things, which are usually coupled with financial success, are forms of seeking admiration. I say this just to bring attention to the fact that what many people view as one thing may truly be boiled down to simply seeking one very solid loving connection. I will leave that research to you.
Knowing this, we turn to the Beatles – Money Cant Buy Me Love. So while these are nice divestitures of your time and energy, seeking wealth and fame in lieu of love, eventually Love will come back to be at the forefront of your existence as some of the messiest relationships are had by those in “power” or with Great “wealth”.
In summation, we must take a clear and direct route to Love, IF THAT BE OUR AIM> If love is secondary, then keep it there and focus on what you will as a primary aim. If, however, LOVE is your primary goal in life, than life a life that reflects that, Let everything come in second and leave love to be the first position in your daily activities. Be loving to everyone and everything that comes your way, truly. If youtry to just show love to the person you think will be the one, you will never find the one as love doesn’t work that way. You see, it isn’t that you must impress the one you want, you must be the TYPE OF PERSON who will be impressive to the type of person you wish to attract as your love. Does this make sense?
If you are a slovenly, rude, misogynistic male and you wish to have a high class woman who has respect for herself, you can focus on the high class woman until you are blue in the face and red in the ears and you will NEVER achieve your dream.
Why, easy, why would a high class woman want to spend time with a guy who is a jerk and doesn’t take care of himself? How you are describes to a great degree how you will treat the person you choose to love, for if you do not love yourself, you will not be able to love another. This isn’t Neil DeGrasse Tyson spewing Astrophysics, this just is, this is Spock speaking simple logic.
So be the kind of person you want to attract into your life. Be honest and open with yourself and then this will spill forth to others. What you are you will attract. You must be the perfect advertisement for the love you wish to find.
This is not riding two horses. Your focus must be crystal clear with a laser like focus. If you want love, you must have it be the primary horse. If you want a specific type of person, you must only go for that type of person, which must be the horse, and you MUST BE THAT AS WELL.
- “The Space for that which you truly want is filled by what you settle for.”
This will come off as perhaps spiritual or “new agey”, or perhaps it will come off as Quantum Physics as this, our most advanced field of science now agrees with the mystics of old. So, whatever we want to call it or view it as, it is clear that if we want any specific thing, we must keep that space open.
I speak in this case to Love, and in truth this idea of settling applies to all aspects of life. How much better is a meal if it is what you truly wanted to eat and not just something to fill your belly? This is a simple example, but I am hoping to make this abundantly clear as it is a most important point to concede if you are to have the love that you dream of.
If you have in mind a certain type of person as your partner, we know one of the many important aspects to be that you are responsible for being the type of person that whatever type person you are seeking would want. If you want a hot vegan guy who has a wicked physique, don’t be a meat eating, non working out lady who cares nothing for her physique. This shouldn’t be rocket science but I feel, unfortunately, our society has become so used to getting what it wants without any hard work that we are able to delude ourselves into believing illogical summations!
If you wish to have real love in your life then you must leave the space open for it to happen. That’s just as it is, two things, we have learned in our elementary science classes, cannot occupy the same space at the same time. So if you want love, real true lasting love, it must have a place in your life. If you fill your hours and days with random sexual encounters, partners that bore you, i.e., if you seem to be unwilling or even scared to simply be alone, finding love will be most difficult. Lovers don’t like players, be they players because they have something to prove to the world, “Look at me, I get all kinds of action”, nor do lovers like those who aren’t in love with themselves, people unable to or unwilling to spend time alone. If you cannot spend time alone, how will you ever be able to spend time with a loved one, especially when your inability to be alone USUALLY means that you are lacking in self love.
You must do whatever it takes to heal the wounds of time in your psyche and heart, until you do, there is no amount of love that will ever heal it for you. This is your practice, it is YOU who must make the space for love appealing to the other. ONLY YOU CAN DO THIS. There is no one and nothing else that is able to do it for you.
That’s a fact. Im sorry if its not a fact you want to hear, that doesn’t change the fact of the matter=]
When you find yourself ready for love, use these two sayings as a basis for your actions, and possibly, just maybe, you will get what you seek, if you do not change your behavior, then, as the rolling stones are so find of reminding us, “You cant always get what you want, but if you try real hard, you just might find, you’ll get what you NEED”.
Either show the Universe you are ready, or the universe will continue to show you what you need to do to be ready.