Your LIFE, make it EASY…

pigeon point lighthouse

Perhaps the easiest way to attract love into your life, the kind of love you think you are looking for, after all, if you haven’t found it, perhaps what you are looking for isn’t what you need, at any rate, here’s my thought that may help you…

Rather than focus on what you want in a partner, focus on being what that partner would want.

Be the advertisement that attracts that kind of person. Be the billboard, the lighthouse.

Don’t focus on them, focus on you being what that person would want. If you want an athletic hot partner, at the very least be a person who is trying to be athletic and work on your esteem until you can look in the mirror and SEE a hot person.

You want a partner to love you, be the kind of partner that can easily attract love because you allow yourself to not only be loving, but to accept love as well. I would wager many of you get defensive and confused and even scared when love comes knocking at your door.

Be that which you wish to receive and so shall it be.

I focused on love here as that is what many of us today are focused on.  In fact, much of what we do on a day to day basis seems to be centered, indirectly around either attracting, or keeping love.

Whatever it is you want, you truly must feel it in you for it to be real.

This isn’t a pep talk, it isn’t mystical or religious, it simply IS. And it happens to be backed up by science, mysticism, religion and of course, common sense and LOGIC.

Now go forth and be happy.

Advertisements

Some focus for Lovin =]

Love Ninjas!

There seems to be an ever burgeoning rise in those searching for love, professing their need for it, and generally being open to any aspect of it.  When we look around the planet, we see a vast multitude of confusion surrounding it and in the next few articles, we will seek to shed some light on it… Why am I saying we, Christ, its like I’m fragmenting in my mind or something, its only me here and now I’m speaking in some odd third person multiple narrative… Sorry, I swear the info is good even if I am on my way out…  Oh boy…  enjoy!

What does love mean for you…

What does it mean for me may be a better way to start this missive, a short diatribe which will, in my highest of hopes, perhaps shed some light on why things aren’t going well for you, or, better, how they can go better, assuming of course my hubris isn’t just shining brightly and Im prattling on about things I know nothing about.

Two sayings will help you on your road to love that apply in some form or another to all of us and they are:

  1. “You can’t ride two horses at the same time.”

 

This speaks to the obvious. If you are truly seeking love, you do not want to spread your focus to thin, and when it comes to love, more than one is to thin. That’s just how it is. I understand that there are those amongst us who feel polyamory (being in loving relationships to include physical with more than one partner) is the way to go. If you feel that way, do give it a try and be prepared for what follows as every last person whom I have known to engage in this has come away having learned a hard lesson.

There are those who feel that it is best to “spread one’s bets”. While this may work for the roulette wheel in Vegas, once you begin to view love as a gamble or something to be won, you have already strayed far enough from the path that your results will reflect your disillusionment. Love is not a game to be one, to be conquered to be on the “winning side” of, it is none of those things and to think of it as such may be the root cause of why things aren’t going as they could be going.

If the focus for you is love, then you MUST keep that focus and use your feelings as a guide to knowing whether or not you are on the right path with the person you have chosen to walk down the path with. If you spread your bets so to speak, you will be unable to properly focus your attention and will miss out on all the important details that make love work, the little things. Its all in the little things, it always has been and always will be. As it is with your daily life, so shall it be with your love.

All “BIG PROBLEMS” are nothing more than a mountain of small problems. All “GREAT SUCCESSES” are nothing but a pile of smaller ones. Love is the greatest success you will have as a human being. I say this as a person who has seen, read, traveled and basically taken in enough of the world to know that love seems to be what everyone is either searching for, or shying away from, which is just another form of searching.

Even Hitler was married. The greatest force the Yogi’s sitting on the mountain tops must overcome is the love of another human, there can be no stronger attachment than the complete admiration and adoration of another, and no better form than that of a loved one.

Look at “fame”, “power”, “prestige”, all of these things, which are usually coupled with financial success, are forms of seeking admiration. I say this just to bring attention to the fact that what many people view as one thing may truly be boiled down to simply seeking one very solid loving connection. I will leave that research to you.

Knowing this, we turn to the Beatles – Money Cant Buy Me Love. So while these are nice divestitures of your time and energy, seeking wealth and fame in lieu of love, eventually Love will come back to be at the forefront of your existence as some of the messiest relationships are had by those in “power” or with Great “wealth”.

In summation, we must take a clear and direct route to Love, IF THAT BE OUR AIM> If love is secondary, then keep it there and focus on what you will as a primary aim. If, however, LOVE is your primary goal in life, than life a life that reflects that, Let everything come in second and leave love to be the first position in your daily activities. Be loving to everyone and everything that comes your way, truly. If youtry to just show love to the person you think will be the one, you will never find the one as love doesn’t work that way. You see, it isn’t that you must impress the one you want, you must be the TYPE OF PERSON who will be impressive to the type of person you wish to attract as your love. Does this make sense?

If you are a slovenly, rude, misogynistic male and you wish to have a high class woman who has respect for herself, you can focus on the high class woman until you are blue in the face and red in the ears and you will NEVER achieve your dream.

Why, easy, why would a high class woman want to spend time with a guy who is a jerk and doesn’t take care of himself? How you are describes to a great degree how you will treat the person you choose to love, for if you do not love yourself, you will not be able to love another. This isn’t Neil DeGrasse Tyson spewing Astrophysics, this just is, this is Spock speaking simple logic.

So be the kind of person you want to attract into your life. Be honest and open with yourself and then this will spill forth to others. What you are you will attract. You must be the perfect advertisement for the love you wish to find.

This is not riding two horses. Your focus must be crystal clear with a laser like focus. If you want love, you must have it be the primary horse. If you want a specific type of person, you must only go for that type of person, which must be the horse, and you MUST BE THAT AS WELL.

 

  1. “The Space for that which you truly want is filled by what you settle for.”

This will come off as perhaps spiritual or “new agey”, or perhaps it will come off as Quantum Physics as this, our most advanced field of science now agrees with the mystics of old. So, whatever we want to call it or view it as, it is clear that if we want any specific thing, we must keep that space open.

I speak in this case to Love, and in truth this idea of settling applies to all aspects of life. How much better is a meal if it is what you truly wanted to eat and not just something to fill your belly? This is a simple example, but I am hoping to make this abundantly clear as it is a most important point to concede if you are to have the love that you dream of.

If you have in mind a certain type of person as your partner, we know one of the many important aspects to be that you are responsible for being the type of person that whatever type person you are seeking would want. If you want a hot vegan guy who has a wicked physique, don’t be a meat eating, non working out lady who cares nothing for her physique. This shouldn’t be rocket science but I feel, unfortunately, our society has become so used to getting what it wants without any hard work that we are able to delude ourselves into believing illogical summations!

If you wish to have real love in your life then you must leave the space open for it to happen. That’s just as it is, two things, we have learned in our elementary science classes, cannot occupy the same space at the same time. So if you want love, real true lasting love, it must have a place in your life. If you fill your hours and days with random sexual encounters, partners that bore you, i.e., if you seem to be unwilling or even scared to simply be alone, finding love will be most difficult. Lovers don’t like players, be they players because they have something to prove to the world, “Look at me, I get all kinds of action”, nor do lovers like those who aren’t in love with themselves, people unable to or unwilling to spend time alone. If you cannot spend time alone, how will you ever be able to spend time with a loved one, especially when your inability to be alone USUALLY means that you are lacking in self love.

You must do whatever it takes to heal the wounds of time in your psyche and heart, until you do, there is no amount of love that will ever heal it for you. This is your practice, it is YOU who must make the space for love appealing to the other. ONLY YOU CAN DO THIS. There is no one and nothing else that is able to do it for you.

That’s a fact. Im sorry if its not a fact you want to hear, that doesn’t change the fact of the matter=]

When you find yourself ready for love, use these two sayings as a basis for your actions, and possibly, just maybe, you will get what you seek, if you do not change your behavior, then, as the rolling stones are so find of reminding us, “You cant always get what you want, but if you try real hard, you just might find, you’ll get what you NEED”.

Either show the Universe you are ready, or the universe will continue to show you what you need to do to be ready.

 

Aloha ❤

 

 

Nuevo rumba?

Life became easier for me when upon waking and after copious amounts of coffee AND tea, I realized that instead of working on some angle to be wealthy, perhaps what the world needs more than another dude looking for riches, is another dude who simply wants to be the best lover to his woman, the best friend to his friends and quite simply a nice guy, and to be happy with that IN the face of economic disparity, which really, though I am cash poor, my life is a dream.  I would ask those of you struggling financially to perhaps question wether or not this would work for you?  The world needs us, we are the stuff that dreams are made of, we are what the Gods muse about when they question their immortality.  Nothing burns so bright and beautiful as the flame of a mortal in Love, there can simply be no higher purpose.

Finding the Yes Molecule…

WOW, that’s where to begin with that.  What, what am I even talking about….?

Songza is giving me Bliss rom Enigma Dubz of the Timelapse album – dope relaxing beats…..  The Amtrak is filling up nicely, pretty girls getting away from lecherous men at the last moment, kids looking confused and darkness making everything nice, neat and quiet once again.  I got in to Penn station in New York almost two weeks ago now to visit an old friend of mine, Koh N.

i met him A LONG TIME AGO…

IN A GALAXY FAR FAR, yeah, it was Yokosuka, Japan.  I was in the Navy, he was in college.  He and his friends, affectionately named the Ofuna Rape Shack Crew – long story on that name, not what you think, ahem….  They saved my ass from the navy essentially.  I’m not going to delve into it except to say that I have life long friends from the navy and only the ones I met while not serving are still really H E R E.

We hang and it is great, meeting rad people, drunken moments, New York City, dinners, lunches, INSANE VEGAN FOOD, kittens, doggies, traditional Japanese dinners where I did NOT make a fool of myself thank you very kindly!

and then, a blast from the past, Eric the Pool Guy, never trust someone who turns their name into a thing, I know that there is a better way to explain this thought, I’m sure you understand, if not, well, in modo.

I hung out with crazy Eric at his place in Stamford and the next day he invited me to do some mountain biking and general good timely things in New Hampshire.

first day was epic ALTHOUGH, there were the first trickles of some ugly writing on the wall.  You see, he has himself in one of those relationships where the guy, and this happens in the reverse, but I am only talking to this particular instance, where the guy begins to put his ENTIRE life on hold to make a woman happy.  Many of y may know this set up of co dependent loveliness, I myself had a great time with it in my growth….

NOW, I found myself being the guy “causing all our problems”, oh shit fuck hell fire….  So, on one hand, Im meeting rad people, Doctors with private docks, wine, great brew from the MOAT, biking the Mineral Spring, et fuckin cetera.

This morning dude is like, so, uh, yeah, you’re gonna have to check in with the bus and just go.  This is following on the heels of his last chat with me where he tried to spell out and paint for the picture where I am to blame blame for the drama with this guys girl and himself.  At one point he was so acerbic in his verbal fusillade, I.e., his shit talking had hit such a fever pitch, that I found myself thankful that we were in a public fare a forcing me to really be a bigger man in the face of absolute, how shall I phrase so you get the gist…. Ah, here we’ll try, I was forced to remain calm in the face of a withering diatribe delivered with the panache of an abject moron who obviously lost the full access of said faculty of reason and common sense, though, choosing a public place to deliver the shit storm did show incredible foresight, so much so that given the absolute loss or ability to find any other sort of hope springing eternal leads me to believe it was a simple stroke of luck… For both of us, he was able to walk away, I was able to get deeper in my Dalai Lama  motif of peace, love, reverence, understanding and all the other happy drek one must face when not simply dropping gauntlets and throwing down.

no complaints really, always a bummer to lose a bro to ridiculous drama, but then, best to kow where people are and though it is stooping to my ego, it is nice to think about the fact am not that guy….  Once we parted ways and returned  my KONA mountain bike from REDLINE Bikes, I went and convinced the bartender to hook me up to ease the pain, this brought out my story to Wonder Woman and her mom as they had just posted at the bar and were politely overwhelmed by my tale of adventure and woe, so Wonder Woman gave me a hug and decided to start a hot guy blog and I am number one fella.  Alls well that ends well, always a silver lining, home of the instant lemonade stand where all of life’s lemons are sweetened and returned for your consumption.

wonder Woman is an amazingly hot lady from Texas who dresses up in costume, one that she had to have approved by do Comics, and then she goes to schools and convinces kids to not grow up so douchy and lame, like we did.  Yokow ow, always with the OMG, we got global warming, get me a steak, fuck my neighbor, I need a raise, watch TV kid I got no time for you….. Etc etc, infinitum.

i just saw the title to this, “Finding The Yes Molecule”  so here’s the deal with that, I call my girl the Yes Molecule as when I a, with her, not only is everything fun and a rosier shade of rose, life just feels right.  I swear I do my. Wry best to not be dependent, co-dependent, what have you.  I just truly want her company more often than not, like 80 percent of the day would be sweet for me, daily, till I die.

i won’t be seeing her, except for the odd visit for the next year.  This is something I swore vehemently that I would never do again, I.e. a long distance relationship.  And yet, here I am happy to be in one.  Yes, I travel A LOT.  I know there are many fish in the sea and to keep my eyes and heart open.  I also know that there are things that are far from my being able to describe them, most of all love.  I always think I have a readily available definition, and then, BAM, a change comes into what I would call love, and now that change is here again.

i hope everyone finds their yes molecule and when you do find it, trust me that it IS RARE.  I have dated much in my years on this little pale blue disc.  I’m am more stoked than ever to be so blissfully heart broken, being scared, which is still odd to me, the whole abandonment thing, and yet, there it is, big as day and larger than life, and yet, Im still here, me !r. Insta-bail, just waiting to see my lady again…

More on this later maybe, love and what not….

Books to help with the Spiritual side of things…

Spiritual Journey

white-tigerThe White Tiger by Aravind Adiga

This is a book I just finished, as this spans a couple of days, I finished it a few days ago.  Below are quotes from the book that hit me like a bucket of cold water to the face while in a deep sleep….

“THEY REMAIN SLAVES BECAUSE THEY CANT SEE WHAT IS BEAUTIFUL IN THE WORLD.” 

This wasn’t capitalized in the book….. but I felt it needs to be blasted out.

“Free people don’t know the value of freedom, that’s the problem.”

Now as for what the book is actually about, I have no recollection at all, not in the slightest.  I only know that it was one of those books, that for me, would be considered profound.

O.K., I admit, I read another review to help, ah, jog my memory.  This book was ninja to be sure, of course dont take my word for it, It won the 40th ever Manbooker award and it was Mr. Adiga’s debut novel!

Siddhartha by Herman Hesse

“I was looking for the key for years, but the door was always open” 

This is another RAD, super rad book which, thanks be, was gifted to me by a wonderful man from Germany, Lorenz W.  Thanks siddharthaLorenz!  It is about a boy who journeys to become a sage, that isn’t even right, he journeys far beyond what we understand, he journeys to the sublime and it is written in such a way that no matter where your reading skill level or level of spirituality, you will notice immediately 2 things.  The book is finished almost as soon as you began, and upon realizing it’s done, you understand so much of what you never even thought before.

I AmI Am by Howard Falco

I had the distinct pleasure of speaking with this gentleman on the phone and to this day I am unsure how we came into each others orbit, and yet, I guess I do know.  This book is fantastically written especially for those of us who view things as a logic journey vice the more guttural, at least this is my view.  he, Mr. Falco, somehow managed to write down the processes that most if not all of us go through to figure things out, the pitfalls, ego traps, the signs of coming out into better understanding, he’s got it all!

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

This is o e of the first books that I found myself listening to again and again and again.  So, at least you now know I am speaking of an audiobook.  The book is read by a member of the Toltec community, or at least that’s what the download I got said, and I would believe it as the voice had such a wonderful effect on me.4 agreements

The book is fairly simple in that it takes what you already know and then puts it back together in a way that you would most likely have trouble doing on your own.  The finished result is magic pure and simple.

The essence of said magic can be summed up in the following from the book:

 

 

A Still Forest Pool by Ajahn Chah

FREE talks and learning materials HERE!

ajahn chahAjahn Cha is one of the members of a discipline of Buddhism which seems to be thought of as Forest Monks, and I am a bit out of my league here, so if you have definitive knowledge about this, please enlighten me as well.  I do not know of discipline is actually the correct term, but, it is as it is, monks who live in the forest.  Conversely, you can also click on the above link and be taken to a website devoted totally to him and learn, which I guess I could have done as well, but, I’ve wasted enough of your time with my confusion, so perhaps you can save yourself…=]

I have read many books by Buddhist monks and thoroughly enjoy them all, this was in a period of time in Hawaii where the only things I would read were Ian Flemming James Bond novels and books by Monks on how to be at peace with yourself and the world.

I guess I was subconsciously seeking balance….

 

 

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Many of you by now have more than likely at least heard of this book and the author, who was taken hostage and tortured at alchemistalchemistone point, which is always a very heavy thing to have happen to oneself.

The story is of a young man who goes in search of that something, and at the risk of ruining one of the most masterfully crafted books I have read in my life, I will say no more.  Simply know this is an easy book to read, is thoroughly engrossing and is one of the very few page turners I have found in my life.

ADD, ADHD…maybe your child just needs love and some nature, hear what a pioneer in psychiatry thinks!

Thus far on my ride, I have had many stories about many things. None make me so sad as those in which little children are placed on medication simply because they are very active. It begs the question, when exactly are we supposed to be active, and if not as a little child, when?
That you as a parent feel over burdened and unable to cope with your child, who, as any animal in the animal kingdom, will continually seek attention from its parent[s]. Should this attention seeking, others will call it love, but they are silly, should this attention seeking and almost GENETIC need to be guided by those who act as though they are raising them give rise to being doped on opiate like drugs, we must wonder where our society has turned to for its wisdom.
IN light of this, I now turn to Dr. Professor Szasz, also co-founder of the CCHR.

Thus far on my ride, I have had many stories about many things. None make me so sad as those in which little children are placed on medication simply because they are very active. It begs the question, when exactly are we supposed to be active, and if not as a little child, when?
That you as a parent feel over burdened and unable to cope with your child, who, as any animal in the animal kingdom, will continually seek attention from its parent[s]. Should this attention seeking, others will call it love, but they are silly, should this attention seeking and almost GENETIC need to be guided by those who act as though they are raising them give rise to being doped on opiate like drugs, we must wonder where our society has turned to for its wisdom.
IN light of this, I now turn to Dr. Professor Szasz, also co-founder of the CCHR.

Wine, love, sex and running… and riding?

We sometimes talk about the things we used to do, how we used to be, as different lives. Like parts of ourselves that are still there but we just don’t know about each other. So we don’t get to know each other fully. Ever.
I guess it takes a whole shared life to kind of sorta get to know a person. Or to get the feeling of being understood by other.

I feel so far away from “the Diana I used to be”, it makes me feel lonely. I guess who ever I am now doesn’t feels right, I’m wearing a suit that doesn’t fit. Everybody around putting their opinion, all I want now is silence. I want to figure things on my own. I want silence so I can hear myself. I want to decide what to do with my life without everybody around me telling me what they want me to do, what they think is right, what they need, “what is best for me”.

Of course my path is different than yours. It’s mine. It’s meant to make sense to me. Not you
.
I’ve been torn between staying on this ride or not, it’s draining. All this pieces flowing around I haven’t been able to arrange them in the right way. I admire Chris commitment. His life is Pedaling for Peace. Nothing is more important and everything, e v e r y t h i n g is understood in P4P terms. I am not that black and white and my motivations, needs and desires are different.

And as lost as I am, there are a few things about myself that I do know..

1 I need to be learning. I’m not talking about life learning, for me that’s implied and it’s independent of what actually happens in life, that learning comes inside and you can learn about life in your kitchen while making your tea as much as standing in front of the Grand Canyon, if you pay attention. But the learning I’m talking about is of actually studying something, taking classes, having some sort of teacher. I need to be a student. And while some people are great at learning by themselves, I’m not. I gave most of my books away when I joined this ride but otherwise I would have a whole set of boxes filled with “Teach yourself” books to prove, YET, I don’t speak latin, or sanscrit, I don’t play guitar, I’m no carpenter… ppfff… and I’m lazy, unless I HAVE to do my homework, I’ll be forever procastinating. I’m unorganized and unless I have a deadline and a set time for ‘class’ I’ll start filling up my time with random endless other things. So no “teach yourself” for me…. let me rephrase, some “teach yourself” for me, but some “someone else teaches me” too!

2 I need at least three hours of exercise a day. Hardcore, sweat the life out of you exercise. For my mental health. For my spiritual growth. The lights dim down (is that the way to say it?) when I don’t have that level of physical activity. Maybe it’s the natural brain drugs overdose, the rush of endorphins that I crave for. I think there’s more to it. It purifies me, strengthens me, keeps me sharp and focus. Somehow running for example, helps me feel independent, free, wild, powerful… yoga makes me feel loving, kind, sensual, endless… once you’ve felt that, how can you live without it?

3 I need music. Background music for my exercise, writing, yoga, cooking. But most importantly I need to sit, alone with music and LISTEN. Let me get lost in the notes, let it take my breath away. Feel myself dancing inside and open my eyes to bright colors around me.

4 I love alcohol. That is good or bad or this or that. All of it it’s true. Alcohol is damaging for the body and it takes a lot of life energy to process. BUT, have you ever had a wine of your age? Have you ever been involved enough with this living entity to allow yourself to be transported and have IT tell you it’s story? Have you ever harvested fresh lavender and rosemary and prepared and elixir with it, slowly, patiently, watching the herbs opening up, giving away their soul and drank it? Have you ever recognized a time, place and heart in what you’re drinking? … if you haven’t then drop it, yes. There’s no point in damaging your body like that, but if you had, then you know what I’m talking about, you understand the alchemy behind it and you can appreciate it… and as a past life alchemist I tell you, it’s medicine.

5 I love baking and cooking… and eating. So I need good alive food to be happy and healthy. For me this goes beyond health, it’s a sacred experience. Not that I always do it with awareness, that would be amazing! No, sometimes I just eat because I’m hungry or craving… but there are those moments of total union, when I am aware, I’m becoming one with my food in the most beautiful, mysical, profound way. I get delighted by the colors and aromas, the orgasmic sensation in my tongue and body… wow!!

6 I love sex. For the same reasons as I love food, for the same reason I love life. I don’t understand sex, I am still trapped in the mind nonsense that has nothing to do with love and like with everything else, sometimes I’m lazy or what ever, sometimes I just want to fuck, but I am searching for more. Sex can create life and death, sex is life and death. Sex can open doors in such powerful way. Through sex you get to experience your true self, connected to everything, you ARE everything. I think it’s ironic that, actually, I haven’t had much sex… so far anyways=] but have been so so lucky with the partners I’ve had, because they have all loved me and that’s the first step. There has to be love. Most people get stuck in the first step.

7 I need to pour myself in what ever I do. Of course my daily life, like yours, it’s filled with random unimportant things and so so many of those I do unconsciously, Ha! many important things I do unconsciously too! But I try to be aware and to find delight in all, little by little. One of my closest friends told me once he loved my soaps and products because my heart was there to the last little detail. And that’s me, wrapping each soap one by one with love, thinking about the magic of herbs and imagining who ever uses it, finding pleasure and magic in the shower, cutting by hand the labels for hours, slowly. Not a good business maybe, but my heart is there and sometimes it beats slowly and I won’t rush it. I rather do something else than interfering with the rhythm of my heart.

So there I am in a nutshell… a very basic nutshell, we could carry on forever. Even at this basic level I’m struggling in making it fit with the ride. In theory it fits, the elements are there…