There is so very much going on inside my head, which, what could I expect. I left my life in Hawaii to come home to a heartbreak of a situation in Pa, only to turn around and ride off into a hazy afternoon day in August to, something bigger than me thats for sure and as big as it is I am the one driving it, literally and figuratively…
It still strikes me as so wild, which is why i bring up leaving my mom and dad in the idyllic, for me, way that I did. I miss them both terribly now, almost as though leaving for the navy, 2 marriages and subsequent divorces, lifetimes lived so long ago were but a test run to really be on my own… Amamzing, many times i think I am not ready, 35, a ninja of a man, and still scared of the world=)
I put a lot of myself out on the net, not all of it, that would be impossible due to the sheer number of things I think are cool and would therefore share, sometimes my life feels as it is more about sharing than living, or that my living needs to be crafted around sharing. Much of what I say and do I think in that moment, that I share may make me seem a little off at times, especially since my writing skills arent the best, many teachers have told me this and I see no reason why it would have changed, but then, maybe now I have people who dont care about my skills and are able to see even things i do not..
My reason for this ride is to try and help out. At first, in hawaii, I figured it was to help out the world, well, i believe save the world is what i was going on about. now that I am in my transition phase, from seeing if i could bike long distances and doing a paltry amount of “peace” ops. Now all of a sudden, and with a heartfelt thanks to the Dionne and her wonderfully crafted wahine project, I am speaking at what, 4 schools this week, did todays count, of course it did, but is was more, well, it was a private speech.
I sat down, and what a crack up, I’m laughin, not a lot cause I’m typing, but there I am, 6 really young ladies eating thier lunches and asking me questions. Surreal, some of you know me, some of you, Hello, nice to see you all here reading this tonight, its crazy there could be a million people reading this thing, more like 2 or 3, but hey…. i never saw myself doing this when i was in highschool, or Miami, or Vegas, or the USN, thats what i meant to say, those of you who know me..
What I am about to write is not mine, it was written by John Berger in his book which was a collaborative effort of 5 – Mr. Berger, Sven Blomberg, Chris Fox, Michael Dibb, and Richard Hollis, first published by The BBC and Penguin Books in 1972, I am currently in possesion of Carlins copy which is from ’77.
Publicity, situated in a future continually deferred, excludes all present and so eliminates all becoming, all development, Experience is impossible in it, all that happens must happen outside it.
I take this to mean that you cannot live in the commercial
I cant believe I just started writing a paper, like school style, ok….
The fact that publicity is eventless would be immediately obvious if it did not use a language which makes of tangibility and event itself. Everything publicity shows is there awaiting acquisition. The act of aquiring has taken the place of all other actions, the sense of having has obliterated all other senses.
You see the party in the commercial and it is real in a sense for the way it is portrayed, or it’s language, the shot of the nightclub/barn dance… and yet, you know it is actors playing for a commercial/ad/etc., in this sense it isnt a real event. The man on the picnic with the Range Rover in the background (ad for Range Rover) and the beautiful woman at his side (or man, no judgement here), all of that could be yours, guys, if you buy that truck, this is the eventless event of publicity. if you buy what is shown to be real, which is not, it will be real. Since we are creatures of comfort, slaves as it were to the 5 senses, I mean, do we really need that many kinds of everything, jesus, if it wasnt for me being vegan, I would simply have too many choices in food, cars, too many, clothing designers etc. We cater to our sense of touch, taste hearing and smell, god, and yes, I forgot sight. What I believe he is saying is that now, the sense of having any one thing is more important than what it does for the senses. We are so focused on having that fantastic steak and then when we finally get it we are immediately focused on the desert to follow, and then the bottle of wine to follow and then the movie to follow that and then, well, kids may be reading… The sense of having.
Bear with me, this is how it is so difficult for all of use to truly be free, seriously now.
Publicity exerts an enormous influence and is a political phenomenon of great importance. But its offer is as narrow as its references are wide. it recognizes nothing except the power to acquire. All other human faculties or needs are made subsidiary to this power. All hopes are gathered together, made homogeneous, simplified, so that they become the intense yet vague, magical yet repeatable promise offered in every purchase. No other kind of hope or satisfaction or pleasure can any longer be envisaged within the culture of capitalism.
This is a doozy… It is a political phenomenon. you know when a vote is at hand due to the advertisements, everywhere, EVERYWHERE. from posterboards on lawns to smear campaigns on tv. We are sold candidates as we are sold anything else on the market. All of our needs as a human are pushed under the need to get stuff, this becomes our number one goal in life, to get, whether it’s money, food, ahead, it is our drive.It is shown to us in a way that is so simple to understand and look at, emotions mixed in, take a car commercial, i like those, you get a lot in one commercial. You get the car, how cool the surrounding is, how cool the driver + occupant(s) are, thier clothes, “the scene”, all of this in under 30 seconds! Tangible simple, real, you need only get it.
It is so simple, as the authors say, it is “the magical yet repeatable promise offered in every purchase”. This is why some people who can afford it have 10 cars, and phat ones at that. Like when i was a kid with matchbox cars, i want more! When I had some cash in my second marriage, i had house(s), car, motorcycle, a small level achiever in the get it game. Its in you until you let it go by seeing it. Why do ninjas never get killed, they arent seen. Publicity is a ninja going to your soul through your wallet. You keep buying, and are kept wanting to buy, well, till you die=)
So, within the culture of capitalism, which is I guess now, kind of synonymous with democracy, what we live in here in the US, the one thing you can count on is consumerism. It is the only thing that matters in this culture.
Publicity is the life of this culture – in so far as without publisity capitalism could not survive – and at the same time publicity is its dream.
Publicity does what, or ads, make it simple, ads do what? drive the revenue by increasing sales, you run more ads, you get more sales, unless your product is dangerous, oh wait, that doesnt apply anymore, off track, more ads, more sales, publicity drives capitalism. Take away the ads, companies go under, no more capitalism. you’ve seen it happen, thats why the advertising budget is so important and is a mark of big companies.
Now the part about publicity being its dream, I’m lost on that, I’ll meditate on that little zen moment…
Capitalism survives by forcing the majority, whom it exploits, to define thier own interests as narrowly as possible. this was once achieved by extensive deprivation. Today in the developed countries it is being achieved by imposing a false standard of what is and what is not desirable.
Let it sink in for a moment…. do you see what is being said here… I’m gonna get a beer… hang on and zen a minute more…
What i believe this is saying, I’m guessing most of you already know from experience or you can think back to school, whatever. We no longer are representative of ourselves for the most part, only now for the small part. We spend hours doing things we dont like because we think its whats best, many times we do it because it allows us to live a lifestyle we have been told is the one to live though it clearly does not benefit anyone in the loop except for the company selling the product. Why is so many people dress the same way, or want particular cars, dogs, houses and geographic locations even though there is no reason to live in these places other than a zipcode labeled the dream. Even vast fields of trees with rivers are desirable to most today because you can buy it up, subdivide it and put track homes on it, forget about the fruit and the clean water. These things are taken forgranted, gimme me a lifestyle i can identify on tv with and we’re talking!
I fear we have been led astray by those we believe we put in charge to lead us. that being said, here I am. Confused and afraid. Afraid may be too strong a word, and resigned sounds like I gave up already, which, clearly I have not, i too am addicted to this thing. If not, for everything I say, i would simply drop out of society. Ha, But I am unable to yet as i am no longer completely self suffcient. being raised in the manner which I was, it is doubtful that i would be able to survive for long completely away from society. What of Hawaii you might ask. true, what of it, the temoperature is ALWAYS warm, you cannot freeze to death, though i could see hypothermia, lots of fruit trees, plenty of cocnuts, lord knows you can do well with thos efor a time, i beleieve there is clean water and yet, i would be missing things. If I fell ill, I do not know what plants would cure me, for that matter, which plants would get me ill in the first place!
So, we all feel attached to this thing. My legs are getting less wobbbly as I ride on, and yet I am still very tied to “the World”, my trip depends on it at this point, as does my communication to all of you in the hopes that we can all work something out to save the kids from a right proper nightmare of such epic proportions, we would rather not speak of it and let it simply creep up on us and devour us.
We are so attched to the system that even when someone make s a huge and horrific change to the system MONSANTO for instance, turning my corn into a literal science experiment gone mad/awry/wrong/wtf, whatever, you get the point. To purposely take control of a basic food group, which though corn is not a food group, it is a crop of such profound significance that it is written into legend. This legend has been taken and turned into a hoax. They, monsanto, through the cooperation, no, actual help of our government, by people in our government who used to work for monsanto, have managed to make corn that will blossom once, any seed from it is infertile. Further, this strain is so aggressive it will take over all others and make copies of itself. Lastly, the shit is unsafe according to scientists. Begs the question, well, why did the FDA allow it. That would be the former monsanto employees turned government. but that is a conflict of interest, to which I must reply, the only conflict is why you cant see it!
Stanley Kubric, Eyes wide shut.
I am nervous abut our position on the endangered species list. I like many others do not believe we have it in our capability to destroy the actual planet, not even with our nuclear weapons (Did you know the uranium bomb operates at 1% efficiency, thats scary for many reasons), we are so in awe of ourselves and what we create that we have given ourselves godlike powers, which I guess is why we are trying to re-create the planet, they just released the genetically engineered fish into the wild, aloha salmon eaters, get em while you can, their own scientists say that in as little as 6 generations no more normal fish. So the planet is safe, somehow I feel we may not be.
History repeats itself first and foremost, the saying, same shit different day, it definitely applies, man is man is man. Once the monkey learned how to use instruments, things went haywire. I really like, look at that, Stanly Kubrick again, in 2001, when the apes learned to use the bones as tools/weapons, game on, next scene, outerspace, going to the space station and HAL, hello dave, Hello Hal, I’m scared Dave, got to sleep Hal, something like that, all because a monkey may have picked up a bone at the right time.
Can i go off on an aside for a moment. Another book i am engrossed in at the moment – Bill bryson, A short history of nearly everything, this is the quote at the beginning of part 1 –
They’re all in the same plane. They’re all going around in the same direction… its perfect, you know. It’s gorgoeus. it’s almost uncanny. -astonomer Geoffrey Marcy describing the solar system.
Now you look at us, you, me, anyone you know, the odds and probabilities that the sperm and egg that came together to make you you are so radical that it is the equivalent of winning the lottery a zillion times over. That that sperm and egg HAD EVEN THE CHANCE to meet, now there is the kicker, every sperm and egg from the dawn of time, through the evolutionary process and if you are a religioous person that does not believe in evolution, fine, every sperm and egg since man came along, IN YOUR LINE MADE IT, to the point that you are here now. none of your ancestors were lopped off before they had the chance to procreate1
Given the mortailty rate of humans to every imaginable death, being eaten by dinosaurs to car crashes, wait, dinosaurs, damn beer… to anaphalactic shock from bee stings, not even the murder of each other… etc. AND YET HERE YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!
And we have a solar system that works like precision time piece, a GIGANTIC time piece, beyond precise, if only one planets gravity shifted a small amount (these are huge things, so even a small shift would be represented by big numbers on the whole of it), wow, that wold be some shit…. think about it, you are a miracle living in a miracle who is now, possibly addicted to a lie.
the jokes on us, this isnt the beer now, i feel like I’m on a roll, and now that I said, roll stops.
So now we have history repeating itself, before i go on, i have to make thing really clear to everyone, this is my diary of sorts, where i work ot the stuff that is in my head, I hope you can understand the import of what i am saying by that. Please dont read into this too much, this is what is flowing out of me, as best as my poor typing will allow, though my weird hunt and peck method is quite smooth… I’m trying to figure myself out, I spent the last 30 some years being dragged through a nightmare in my book, now that I look back, i had a great life, but it wasnt truly mine, well, especially when i was in the navy. Though I was the one that made the choice to have it not be mine….. I got it=)
Once you start getting into preschool, it’s not how to be a human, its how to be a functioning member of a huge group, we call society, now I dont know if culture would be a sub group or vice-versa, but then i have to learn hoew to deal with people different than me, i have to sit in what most scientists will agree are ergonomically INCORRECT chairs for the first 13 years of my habitualization in the public school system, and tell me they are ok to sit in, I’ve seen the ergonomically correct chairs, it sure aint the ones I had! We get broken in and kept off balance with all this arcane archaic knowledge which, now that I am functioning more on what i trust, i see that they do not even teach us what we truly need to know, and what we are taught is usually a ghost of what actually happened especiclaly if we are dealing with our own history. this is not an American thing howevere i have come to learn, most cukltures vastly twist thier history to reflect the “clean sheet” ideal of what the culture is currently trying to represent.
It’s quite an amazing thing, the various school systmes and how they break people in. Some schools are for the ones who will be new day slaves, they are just taught to deal. then you have the middle class school system, they are taught to deal and that they are somewhat beter than some and worse off than others and overall, will be the host of the consumers, then the upper level private schools, which today is where the upper middle class try to hide thier kids away from the parents that dont drive the cooler cars and have teachers that seem to care and then the really upper class schools where the peole are tught how to properly manage the ones in the systems below.
Now I said a lot right there and I want you to know that it is a sweeping blanket statement which is a gross generalization. There are many, no, i would say most teachers in schools that I have met are absolutely of superior quality and cut from the very best cloth, the systemin which they operate is unjust. trying to teach as so many programs thet help teaching are cut for reason we can only guess at…. I thank them from the bottom of my heart for the effort and good will with which they go forth everyday, these are whom I view to be Bodhisattva (the enlightened who hang back to make sure we all get a clue and try to do something good with 60-90yrs. we generally get on this planet).
According to Bill Bryson, In a Short History of Nearly Everything, “You may not feel outstandingly robust, but if you are an averaged-sized adult you will contain within your modest frame no less than7 x 10 to the 18th power joules of potential energy – enough to explode with the force of thirty very large hydrogen bombs, assuming you knew how to liberate it and really wished to make a point. Everything has this kind of energy.”
This is what the machines, and by now we all know the correlation between Matrix and Terminator… yes? So this is the energy the machines were after in Matrix, everything deals in some way with reality, remember, one of the most beautiful and yet scary things is that if it can be envisioned, so shall it be at some point somewhere.
So, getting to this energy.. endless hours of meditation, practicing kung fu atop Wudan, One of my goals is to figure out how to tap into it I could do a huge thing on quantum physics here, most of which would be loose plagarization or credits to various authors like Richard Feynman and Stephen Hawking, but whats the point. Scientists agree now that there is way more to things than meets the eye, the mere fact that there is an observer in an experiment changes the experiment at an atomic level, so, its possible, I just have to figure out how to do it…. I guess at that point I would conceivably “Jedi”, then depending on my spiritual path had gone, i would choose either the dark side or the light side. Knowing what little i know now, they are both one and the same, so it just depends on if i want power and glory or peace and love=) There would be no saints if it werent for the sinners….
Enough for now….